What a putrid show. Ninja Nonsense is the new stand-up comedian who thinks any random sex jokes will keep the audience laughing if he tells them fast enough and in a weird voice. Two female ninjas named Kaede and Shinobu are purported to be the main characters, but they exist only as a pair of breasts (and in Kaede’s case, breasts with blond hair) so that a vapid lecherous Pac-Man named Onsokumaru with weirdly buff appendages can whine and wheeze out the next perverted remark. The slightly crude 2000’s animation also chimes in, giving this show all the subtlety and comedic value of a brick coming through a car window and killing the driver, all set to a laugh track. Halfway through the show I wished that driver was me.
What the hell does this actually have to do with ninjas? Great, the other main character is a guy in a tight black suit and a mask, but this is about the best indication of how much “ninja” we get in the show: stupid iconography. But otherwise? Hot springs episode, Christmas episode, haunted house episode, etc episode. They took the most vapid elements of the average slice of life show, put a shuriken in it, and called in ninjas. Ecchi Nonsense is much closer.
Kaede is an average high school student, studying hard for her upcoming exams until Shinobu (read: her name means ninja) comes to steal her panties as a final test of her ninja abilities. They both end up returning to the Valley of the Ninja where Onsokumaru and the other ninjas raise Kaede to become a ninja herself! Or so it was supposed to go? There is a scene in the first episode when Shinobu is bringing her back Onsokumaru gets jealous and faces off with her, which includes a stab in the nether regions, him pleading to go into her breasts, and a flipbook of a guy shitting in reverse. As far as setting the tone for the rest of the show, you couldn’t come up with a more accurate scene.
God I hate Onsokumaru. I hate how he sucks the soul from this show with his irritating drawl and piss-poor attempts at being funny. I hate how he takes the show away from the perfectly average female leads as if he were the sun they all revolve around. Because of him everyone else just looks like a walking stereotype that just exists to pull in more viewers. Ironically his name means “ball at the speed of sound”, but when he talks it feels like time is dilating. In the fifth episode he gets pulled down to hell, but as much as I’d like to pretend it all ends there I am sorry to say he eventually makes it back out. Let’s hope Ninja Nonsense itself doesn’t fare so well.