quotes

Man and Machine

First we build the tools, then they build us.
Science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.
The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
The computer is simply an instrument whose music is ideas.
The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows.
We too are machines, just machines of a different type.

The Brain

Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.
Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.
...[Some] schools are virtual beefcake outlets, with nary a forehead in the crowd disfigured by a sentient impulse.
What is research but a blind date with knowledge?
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
seeker of truth
follow no path
all paths lead where
truth is here

Society and Civilization

The true civilization is where every man gives to every other every right that he claims for himself.
If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.
The basis of a democratic state is liberty.
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.
That's why they call it the American Dream - because you have to be asleep to believe it.
The more you own, the more it owns you.
Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority.
A tyrant is always stirring up some war or other, in order that the people may require a leader.
If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.
Every gun that is fired, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. The world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children.
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's the exact opposite.
When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.
If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
If you want the truth to stand clear before you, never be for or against. The struggle between "for" and "against" is the mind's worst disease.
A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death.
Man can now fly in the air like a bird, swim under the ocean like a fish, he can burrow into the ground like a mole. Now if only he could walk the Earth like a man...
Man is a biped without feathers.
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Fight war, not wars.

Insults

Ni!
I told him to be fruitful and multiply, but not in those words.
Science is interesting, and if you don't agree you can **** off.
Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.
Bollocks bollocks bollocks.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
I've been called worse things by better people.
He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Lady Astor: If you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee.
Winston Churchill: If I were your husband, I would drink it.

Earl of Sandwich: You will die either of the pox or on the gallows.
John Wilkes: That will depend on whether I embrace your mistress or your principles.

[He is] a modest little person, with much to be modest about.
I wouldn't warm to [Chuck Berry] even if I was cremated next to him.
My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.
To Captain Bender, he's the best... at being a big jerk who's stupid and his big ugly face is as dumb as a butt!
The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on the list.
If you gave Falwell an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox.
He's as bent as the Soviet sickle and as hard as the hammer that crosses it.
Ugarte: You despise me, don't you?
Rick: If I gave you any thought, I probably would.