Gruff but Likeable
In his private life Brahms was considered by his friends as an egotist.
He had an extremely lofty opinion of himself and his talents. He was not
noted for his humility. Along with this quality, he was known for his 
pungent sense of humor. While his closet friends could accept his 
biting jokes, other found him difficult to warm up to. He was an inveterate
stay-at-home. Cambridge university conferred an honorary degree upon him, but
he was adamant about staying at home and didn't go to receive the honor.
Despite the ardent and romantic nature of his musics, Brahms never found a
right girl and remained single throughout his life.
 

to pull one's weight--Everyone in a pioneer family had to pull 
his own weight.
(to do a fair share of the work.)